River of Reverie

2008-01-05T07:58:00.000-08:00

I Am Legend is a pretty awesome show i would say. Though it's only an hour and a half long, the plot and character development is well defined and flows smoothly throughout. I like the tagline "The Last Man On Earth Is Not Alone" though in fact he's not really the last man. Hahas! Movie rating shall goes: 7/10

Well, I must confess I am rather depressed today with regards to my Ticketing Test 2 today. I was slow. 20 marks lost because I couldn't manage my time well enough to complete the last question. I just hope I do not fail too badly. Sigh

Anyways, I'm glad I made time to have a good chat with my younger brother today. There's really a lot we ought to catch up on and share. God Bless you!

Alrights, and I enjoy the HP sharing... ^^ -secret-
Now I have the craving to write HP8, my own version... =p

Oh ya, and...Happy Birthday to Berlinda!! Best wishes! Will see you around when I go back to ZHSS. ;)

Tatax~

2008-01-02T07:55:00.000-08:00

Hihi!!

Happie 2008 and wishing everyone a blessed year ahead!! ^^

Have not blogged for awhile. Have been busy, but slacking away. =x

Kind of sick actually. Throat really isn't in the best of health. Needs some lubricating. The rust is choking me up! Hmph..i want to sing! At least though, my nose has been on leash; i cannot imagine myslef having to handle the two of them at the same time. Fever is still taking me on a roller coaster ride. Hahas. Hope i get well soon. Need my health to support me with all the upcoming assignments.

Didn't go school today. Went to the polyclinic but the queue had a waiting time of 3.5h!!! i gave it a skip. Probably go get my MC and my medicine tomorrow, erm i mean today. Look at the clock!! =p

In the end did my individual reports, but still not quite done, and my due date is like tomorrow!! Argh i'm so dead.

Also went back ZHSS today to help out some choir matters...guys you all must think of some ways to market andf promote choir. Especially to attract guys! I doubt i can comeback on Sat to help so you all must jiayou worz. I have faith in all of you! Do yourselves proud! =D

Many thoughts have been racing through my really puny little mind. Emotions all wrecked. Hmm.. i read this certain blog. Guess it was me after all. Glad you finally see who i am. Period.

Have been trying to compose music and creating stories. I want to do so many things... but it seems I may have to forgo many things soon. The papers are done. Mum is shifting out in less than a month. House work will probably be shifted on to my shoulders? WW stay strong k? If you are reading this. :)

Da Ge going overseas to work. Think i will give up TP Choir, and Maybe Vocal Consort. I may need to also work more from now on. Really kind of can't bear to but circumstances change and so do our plans.

I want to go watch AVP2 though. As i always say, life moves on, so just adapt and be happy! =) I miss the beach and listening to the sounds of crashing waves. I crave the sunrise view across the azure horizon. I anticipate the twinkling stars and the enigmatic moon. Yes i can get very emo, but my thoughts are rational. Sometimes i just wish someone could tell me i need not be so strong, need not always shoulder the unseen burdens, that i can count on the person..that everything will be just fine. I just want to be a simple guy leading a fulfilling life. Really...

Carpe Diem~

2007-12-27T09:02:00.001-08:00

Your hidden talent is writing

Your hidden talent is writing. You have a unique way of viewing the world and are able to express your thoughts eloquently on the page. Some people might think that you are weird, but you are just the next Pulitzer prize winner.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Your Theme Song:

"Sweet Home Alabama", Lynyrd Skynyrd

'What is your theme song?' at QuizGalaxy.com


	Ang Woon Jiun discovered an alternate dimension.
	... afterward, Ang Woon Jiun ate some macaroni and cheese.
	'How will you be remembered in history books?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Ang Woon Jiun's synonym --

crazy (... as in batty!)

'What is your synonym?' at QuizGalaxy.com

In what alternate dimension would Ang Woon Jiun be most comfortable?

In a dimension where...

The U.S. defense budget is only 150 dollars

'In what alternate dimension would you be most comfortable?'
at
QuizGalaxy.com

What will you be reincarnated as?
	You will spend your time mating.

'What will you be reincarnated as?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Where you died in your past life:

'Where did you die in your past life?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Ang Woon Jiun --

[noun]:

A beat poet working the streets

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

	WHAT PISSES YOU OFF?
Viagra advertisements

'What pisses you off?' at QuizGalaxy.com

2007-12-27T06:40:00.000-08:00

I'm reviving this blog again...

Though i really prefer my self-created crusnik blog much much more... but... some things must be left where it was burried. Why do nightmares linger in the day??

Anyways, i really feel like changing the skin for this blog...but i really don't know how to ever since they added so many new stuffs. (you must understand i am a computer idiot, and skins from blogskin.com simply doesn't work anymore here!!)

Well, about myself now then...This holiday has been very 'project-chioning' at the beginning... but i soon lost motivation.

I did meet up with many old friends...from primary school, secondary...so on. Ya you get the picture. So that's something nice that happened and i really enjoy company with my Minton United. And of course with Celesta, and others..if you know it's you then yes! :) Kbox session was an utter let down..sorry!!

Xmas was celebrated in the airport, and i really enjoyed every moment with all my CYAs. Love ya guys and gals!! Definitely one of the most memorable in my life...since i usually celebrate it all alone. Lol!

OK...i am emo-ing...and i don't know what else to type. Still have some gifts with me on hand..wonder when i'll be able to pass to my friends. Hah

New year is coming, so wish whoever who even bothers to read my blog - A Happy 2008 ahead!! ^^

2007-06-18T14:24:00.000-07:00

I don't want to share anymore.

-END-

Though i'm still around if you need me...

2007-06-18T13:02:00.000-07:00

The Picto-Personality Test

You are a person who is very calm and kind. You go out of your way to help people who need your help.

When alone, you appreciate being able to do nothing if you want to, and setting your own pace for things.

You are romantic, and when you are with your partner you like to woo them with your imagination.

In the future you will be happy and live richly.

Take this Test at QuizGalaxy.com

Your Dating Style:
Committed Relationship

You are all about being in a committed long term relationship. You are all about the love and security that it brings.

'What is your dating style?' at QuizGalaxy.com

You should learn Russian

You should learn Russian. You like to be able to speak to people wherever you travel if even just a little bit. You are smart enough to learn this language and have the patience to follow through with it.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

You fit in with: Spiritualism 80% spiritual. 60% reason-oriented.
	Your ideals are mostly spiritual, but in an individualistic way. While spirituality is very important in your life, organized religion itself may not be for you. It is best for you to seek these things on your own terms.
Take This Quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

You are 26% evil

You are not so evil. You are overall a nice person, although I wouldn’t want to get on your bad side. You have an extravagant imagination.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Kindness

Kindness is most important in a boyfriend/girlfriend. You want someone who will go through everything with you - the best moments and the worst, and all of those other moments in between. You love to be able to say anything to your partner, and have them say anything to you. You are able to be extremely close with your partner for that reason.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Your most appealing feature is:
Your Physique

Your best feature is your physique. You keep yourself in shape and eat well. You have a hot body.

'What is your best feature?' at QuizGalaxy.com

You are 66% likeable
You are a likeable person. You are fiercely loyal to your friends and you have a lot of them. You have may have a few enemies but it is only because they don't really know the real you.

'How Likeable are You?' at QuizGalaxy.com

2007-06-17T00:30:00.000-07:00

Today marked the end of our collaboration with the Singapore Festival Orchestra in putting up PLAY! - A video game symphony, jointly organised for the Singapore Arts Festival 2007.

I think we all did really well, despite the errors here and there, and am sure we enjoyed every piece. In particular, I believed we sang really awesome for One-Wing Angel, Castlevania Suite, as well as the World of Warcraft Suite. Cheers!

Almost all three sessions of performances was full house! The audience of our finale performance tonight were really a bunch of enthusiastic people, needless to say, must be gamers. They were so spontaneous for every piece, cheering! In the end they even asked for 3rd encore! Haha

It's kinda sad all good things must come to an end. Before leaving Esplanade, I grabbed the chance to take a personal photo with the acclaimed composer of Shenmue & Shenmue 2, Daytona USA - mr Takenobu Mitsuyoshi. See! =D

Anyways, I had my dinner at the newly opened Food Republic at Suntec, and goodness the prices there are sky rocket! One fried Hokkien Prawn noodle that is slightly larger costs awhopping $8!!! Argh it's daylight robbery! Ya, so you can imagine how broke i am now. Sigh.

Tomorrow is cousin outing day. Yay!

And now is time to say goodbye... Heez

i need more enlightenment

2007-06-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

Still in a dilema i guess..haha...but i'm a whole lot better today.

Less Emo = Enlightenment.

Ok la not say i gain any wisdom, but maybe i have realised some things are not meant to be, so, should be left un-pursued. What's yours will be yours. Shall be passive this time. Lalalala

I think i still like it this way. May regret some day but for now, this will do. Or i would prefer the beginning. Heh

Wonder if will be wathing Shrek 3 tomorrow. If not then i'll probably watch it on my own or perhaps make use of the time to stone. Lol

Today ah i lost like 70% of my voice la. The symphony so powerful! I tried using full support already still like can't hear much of myself. The most horrible thing that happened was probably this tuba guy in front of me went to smoke during the break and came back with that stench of evil. gosh save me. I nearly had my asthma triggered. =x

But i did enjoy myself at the rehearsal. The music i mean. -lonely-

Bought a cd. nice! and some comics -broke-

Today's video-ing for Psycho project was really fun! Hope we will do well during the presentation when school reopens. -prays-

Alrights i'm going to get going to do my other projects' compilation. Tatax!

ZOOOoooooommmMMSS...

2007-06-12T01:20:00.000-07:00

What am i surpressing??

What is it that i'm feeling??

Why am i emo-ing??

I know i should not, but when did all these start?

Sorry, but you can try reading between lines. This post is not meant to be understood.

----------------------------

Don't waste your time reading on unless you care about how i feel and want to know more about me.

----------------------------

Firstly, i don't like to take friendship for granted.
Second, Please don't take me for granted too.
Third, to friends, don't feel obliged to go out/talk with me etc. I'm already used to being alone.

I'd like to be there for people and give my all, but i don't need people to be there for me. Only because i don't want you all to bear my burden. Silent i will stay. I'm afraid i'll hurt them and if i really do, i'll be terribly hurt too.

I think a lot. Help me, but, don't criticise me. Because many of you don't know what i've been through or am going through.

Don't give me hope, and then take it away all of a sudden. Don't leave me all on my own when you have already come into my life. Why can't people put themselves in others shoes. Sometimes people may not mean what they say but some words hurt. A lot.

I'm not targeting anyone, i'm just blurting what i feel. Please don't take it to heart.

----------------------------

Ignore my rants. Yet, do you really not know how i feel and why i react this way??? It's really saddening that we are so stranger-like when others are around. Am i that insignificant? I'd like to know more about you, and even so, do so much more for you. I don't need anything in return.

I've changed a lot, but did you realise?

Honestly, i have tried and tried very hard, and i think i have much overcome my inner demons. You once told me that if i could forgive myself and love myself more, i could gain your acceptance in more areas.

Maybe i've hoped too much. All the deals we made, i never once forgot anyone.

I don't want to be your friend anymore... instead

?em tel uoy lliw ;dnah ruoy ekat ot hsiw I

2007-06-11T05:30:00.000-07:00

SORRY

2007-06-07T03:15:00.000-07:00

Psst.

Guess what i'm doing right now?

Don't know?

...I'm eating 出前一丁 (Sesame Oil) Flavour instant noodles & watching Dolphin Bay on crunchy roll.

I can still remember why i had the sudden spur to buy this pack of noodles two days back. Hah. Roughly 3-4 weeks ago, while i was chatting late into the night on phone with a friend, she got hungry and went to cook instant noodles. It was so funny when she was teaching me that cooking instant noodles must cook twice to remove the 'wax' on the noodle. Then she was telling me that she loved 出前一丁 instant noodles and recommended me Sesame Oil flavour. So, i was at the mama shop near my block and i saw it! Out of curosity i bought, and it's really oishi!! Yummy..haha...but i did not beat an egg in it like you did. =p In fact, i recall you were eating it at this time then too. So qiao.

Anyways, Dolphin Bay is really a nice love serial. I nearly cried la. Kids can really act so well nowadays. The songs are also beautiful. =)

Today i had my Accounts test, and i'm pretty much disappointed. I don't think i did well. Despite having confidence for my subject knowledge, i confess i was a little complacent and only panicked last minute resulting in information overload. I know i did alright, but my hope for an A is almost certain diminished. -sigh-

After test, i went down to Changi General Hospital to see the friend o mine who met with the road accident, and i'm really so relieved to see that she is so much better. I think she is really strong, and positive. Serene, ganbatte!

-----------------------------------------

I have been living on a really stressful schedule. Now i really dread looking at my calendar - it is packed full of schedules and deadlines to meet and each timing is timed so closely that i feel i will snap anytime if anything more goes wrong. I'm like caught between school projects, work, and family. I want to take life simpler...

Okies, at least there are things for me to look forward to. Hopefully there will be people to accompany me to watch Shrek 3 on 14th Jun before consort practce that day. Though i won't pin much hope on this because i know fixed plans like mine, are often difficult to meet, but i'm really sorry i can't find any other slots unless much later. -prays-

Tomorrow i will be down in Orchard in the noon for project discussion, before going to Changi Airport for CYA from 6-10pm as usual. Wonder if fate would be kind enough to let me see my friend who will be returning from Hong Kong. Miss ya~

Heh. Now i have to continue with my project research.
Oyasumi nasai mina-san

^^ zzZ

2007-06-04T22:15:00.000-07:00

"Say Goodbye" By S Club

Oh Yeah,

In The Years To Come,
Will You Think About These Moments That We Shared,
In The Years To Come,
Are You Gonna Think It Over,
And How We Lived Each Day With No Regrets,

Nothing Lasts Forever,
Though We Want It To,
The Road Ahead,
Holds Different Dreams,
For Me And You,

Sometimes Goodbye Though It Hurts In Your Heart,
Is The Only Way For Destiny,
Sometimes Goodbye Though It Hurts,
Is The Only Way Now For You And Me,
Oh It's The Hardest Thing To Say,
I Miss Your Love In Every Way,
So Say Goodbye,
But Don't You Cry,
Because True Love Never Dies.

In A Year From Now,
Maybe There'll Be Things We Wish We'd Never Said,
Maybe In A Year From Now,
Maybe We'll See Eachother,
Standing On The Same Street Corner,
No Regrets,

Each And Every Ending's Always Written In The Stars,
If Only I Could Stop The World,
I'd Make This Last,

Sometimes Goodbye Though It Hurts In Your Heart,
Is The Only Way For Destiny,
Sometimes Goodbye Though It Hurts,
Is The Only Way Now For You And Me,
Oh It's The Hardest Thing To Say,
I Miss Your Love In Every Way,
So Say Goodbye,
But Don't You Cry,
Because True Love Never Dies.

And When You Need My Arms To Run In To,
I'll Comfort You,
Nothing Will Ever Change The Way I Feel,

Sometimes Goodbye Though It Hurts In Your Heart,
Is The Only Way For Destiny,
Sometimes Goodbye Though It Hurts,
Is The Only Way Now For You And Me,
Oh It's The Hardest Thing To Say,
I Miss Your Love In Every Day,
So Say Goodbye,
But Don't You Cry,
Because A True Love Never Dies.

------------------------------------------------

5

OF THE HARDEST THINGS TO SAY

... And Ways To Say Them

by Pamela Brewer MSW, Ph.D., LCSW-C

Do you think that most difficult thing to say is "Hello, how are you" in a language you don't speak? Or perhaps it's "Boss, I need to leave early today" or perhaps it's "I know you are asking xxx,xxx for your house, but I'd like to offer xx,xxx for your house." Perhaps all three seem really difficult to say. Perhaps they are. But what often gets people the MOST stuck is ...:

1. "I AM SORRY"
THINK ABOUT THIS...

A way to think about this is to acknowledge that since no one is perfect - you don't have to be either. Saying I'm sorry can be one of the most freeing and powerful statements made in a relationship. Saying - and meaning - I'm sorry can also be a powerful tool of forgiveness you offer yourself.

SUGGESTIONS:

HERE ARE SOME WAYS TO THINK ABOUT OFFERING AN APOLOGY...

"I UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT I SAID/DID WAS HURTFUL TO YOU AND I AM VERY SORRY. "

" I AM SORRY. I HAVE HURT US BOTH."

"WHEN WE'RE BOTH READY, CAN WE TALK ABOUT WAYS TO AVOID THIS KIND OF PROBLEM IN THE FUTURE?"

"I WAS ANGRY AND IN PAIN WHEN I ______________, I DO WISH I'D CHOSEN ANOTHER WAY TO EXPRESS THOSE FEELINGS. I AM SORRY."

2. "I WANT TO END THIS RELATIONSHIP"
THINK ABOUT THIS...

You have a right to end a relationship. If someone tries to ignore your wishes - perhaps you are being given a reaffirmation that your decision is a right one for you. Just remember that ending a relationship should be a decision you make specific to the current relationship - and not the way you always deal with upset.

SUGGESTIONS:

THIS RELATIONSHIP IS NOT A GOOD FIT FOR ME."

"THIS RELATIONSHIP IS NOT WORKING FOR ME."

"WE NEED TO STOP HURTING EACH OTHER. THE ONLY WAY THAT I KNOW HOW TO STOP MY PART OF IT - IS TO REMOVE MYSELF FROM THE RELATIONSHIP. I WISH YOU WELL."

3. "I WANT A RAISE"
THINK ABOUT THIS...

While it would be great to work for an employer/client who values your work as much as you do - do not assume your work does not have value because your employer doesn't necessarily sing your praises. If you believe you should have a raise, think about the reasons (excluding "I need it", "I'm a single parent," "I have a lot of bills") and present this to your employer. Be clear about your salary goals and clearly communicate this to your employer. Be prepared for the range of responses your employer may offer, knowing that regardless of the response, you have done what you needed to do for you.

SUGGESTIONS:

"I WOULD LIKE TO SCHEDULE SOME TIME FOR US TO TALK WITHIN THE NEXT TWO WEEKS. I AM INTERESTED IN REVIEWING MY COMPENSATION PACKAGE WITH YOU."

"I AM INTERESTED IN TALKING TO YOU ABOUT A SALARY INCREASE AND HAVE PREPARED SOME MATERIAL I WOULD LIKE YOU TO CONSIDER"

"I WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS MY WORK THUS FAR AND SHARE WITH YOU SOME OF MY OBSERVATIONS AND GOALS ABOUT MY PERFORMANCE"

BE PREPARED!!

4. "NO"
THINK ABOUT THIS...

No is no is no. You have a right to your feelings. You have a right to set limits. If someone chooses to ignore your "no" - it is your job not to! If "no" is what you mean...than "no" is what you mean!

SUGGESTIONS:

DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR "NO"
DO NOT BE RUDE ABOUT YOUR "NO"
DON'T YELL YOUR "NO"
DON'T MAKE EXCUSES FOR YOUR "NO"
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO JUSTIFY YOUR "NO"

5. "I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN"
THINK ABOUT...

You have a right to your life and your feelings.
Neither you or anyone else has the right to ignore either.
TAKE A LOOK AT ITEM NUMBER 4.

SUGGESTIONS:

DON'T THINK THAT IT IS OKAY TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO IGNORES YOUR WISHES.
TAKE A LOOK AT ITEM NUMBER 4.

------------------------------------------------

Sometimes our lives
get too busy to
remember the special
people in it
but I want you
to know
whenever I needed a
shoulder to cry on
or someone to
stand by me
you were there.
I might not have
said it lately but
I love you.

------------------------------------------------

Ti amo!

2007-06-02T10:49:00.000-07:00

I simply have no mood nor motivation to get down proper with my overwhelming projects. Ugh. The stress is really brewing and the pressure is about to explode. How? You know it's like even if the mind is willing the flesh is weak.

Alright. No more excuses. I'm just going to try to start the engine going with the lesser projects. But i still need to ventilate...so here i am.

Let's recall a little, hmm...

Monday, i still went back to school despite having only an APEL class. Before that was discussing project, and it was rather unproductive. Why can'tpeoplesee work and personal time differently? Can't they be more serious during work?? Sigh.
At night, i went down to J8 to get my trousers altered at G2000, of which i can only collect it on 4th June. Also, i purchased two new sets of discs - Liao Zhai & Ying Xhiong Ben Se, for only $10!!!! Can you believe how cheapthat was?! Wahahaha

Tuesdays and Wednesdays were spent in school. Nothing much unless my memory is failing me. Lol.

Thursday, I went on a field trip with my project mates to Little India, Chinatown, and lastly Haji Lane in Bugis. Bought some really nice pens at The Arcade in Little India. In Chinatown, we ate dessert at this really great eatery! Shit! but i can't remember the name...hehe...so next time if free den i bring whoever is interested to pamper their tastebuds. =p

Friday was a day i considered utter failure on my behalf. I was just unable to get down to work on my pending projects. Somehow some unknown forces made me want to sleep! Maybe i was just too tired from the many days of lack of rest. Anyways, i wasted the day away.

So, today, i'm trying to make up for it.

Yupyapyup. I feel at least quite productive today. According tomy plan, i'm left with filing up my subjects and i can go to bed! Yayee!!

Tomorrow's Way is the new song that's plaing on my blog now. It's by Yui. Lovely isn't it? Yar speaking of tomorrow, i will have to continue with my project, before going for Consort and then to work at night. I'm desperately in need to work. Personal financial situation quite bad. Besides i can't wait for the Kbox session with my ex-classmates as well the next cousin outing! Sadly, reality is no money no talk so going to chiong for work once my Wednesday's accounts test is over. I seriously need rest... =x

Okie dokie..better get going now with my filing... ciao~

In the sky,
clouds and winds go hand-in-hand...
I am a cloud, where is my wind?
I need the wind to blow me,
so that i may move on to continue sheltering the people i love
from the rage of the sun.
PLease don't go by without me.
Why don't you know how i feel?

2007-06-01T22:52:00.000-07:00

Packed schedules. I need more time! I need sleep! HELP

I want to sleep forever...

2007-05-29T02:01:00.000-07:00

I won't say i am devastated, but i must confess i'm still somehow quite shaken by the occurances lately.

First, it was my classmate/colleague who came down with some stomach problem and had to be hospitalised.

Next, my friend, who happens to be my good friend's sister as well, met with a road accident. I don't want to say much about this case because it's really heart wrenching. There was a death.

More to come, my neighbour got knocked down by a car and his right leg is crushed! That bloody driver made a hit-and-run!

I hate to see people getting hurt, but i'll curse those who caused the damage and not owning responsibility!
HELL IS EXACTLY WHERE YOU BELONG!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Mars vs Venus
Did you believe on your own
that i am that frail to accept whatever is your answer...

How long more do we need to break the ice?

2007-05-23T03:17:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile i blogged. It's been awhile i welled up with so much emotions again.

I start to wonder the fine line between friendship and that special feeling.

I'm not about to spill anything here, because i realise i can no longer blog how i exactly feel. It's as if i'm afraid to spell my heart out. Never mind. Maybe some things were never meant to be said. This i've learnt - because opportunity or disaster you never know.

You know sometimes you question what's going in another's mind. What he/she might be thinking, or why reacting in a certain way. I still cannot understand why you treat me this way?

I have been really tired, probably at my body's limit, but i still feel like doing so much more. I want to be there for people, as well as being loved. However, these few days, i have been thinking more than i should. I discover i am still such a stranger to myself. Could it be all that i'm doing or thinking had just been illusions formulated by my mind to distort thoughts so that i may not feel hurt? Anyways...

Today as i walked alone along the corridor of the computer labs, i saw everyone in groups, frantically discussing on projects. Yet, my group hasn't even planned on when to meet up. I hate last minute work when it comes to work; be it School, Work, Sports. Sigh... the coming days seem bleak. The only consolation i can get is perhaps there is only a mid-semester test - Accounts.

I am on a tight budget lately too. So, I will have to decline to outings that are in-prompt-to. Sorry! Hope to watch Shrek 3 though coz i've long set aside the $$$ for it. Hahaha

Alrights, be gone.

i still cannot forgive myself

2007-05-10T14:08:00.000-07:00

Pardon my previos post. I wasn't in the right state of mind. Guess I lost myself. Anyways, I am feeling a lot better health-wise. To those who showered me with care and concern, really appreciate and want to say a big THANK YOU!

That's all for now. ciao

2007-05-09T20:47:00.000-07:00

Why are my emotions going on a roller-coaster ride again?!

I really hate this feeling of uncertainty! It's like standing for ever and ever in a dark abyss, and just when you thought you saw some light, it turns out to be just another mirage. I dare not take any step forward, nor turn back. I'm too afraid to face the horrors that stalk in the shadows of my mind. The terrible memories of my inhuman side. No, i hate myself more than anyone can ever imgaine.

What exactly have i been looking for all this while??

Why am i still so haunted by the past!? ...i thought time could cure all wounds
But i always have this dread when i recall those nightmares.

, and to think that I even believed that sincerity would bear fruits of the heart.

I was only deceiving myself.

Everything that went wrong had only myself to blame. Everything.

I thought i had the courage to love again, but i was utterly wrong once more. In the end, i hurt myself and others. I'm a sinner beyond compare!

Ok, sorry for emo-ing so much. Readers, there's no need to be bothered about me. In fact, i'm considering to isolate myself? Perhaps i shoould just go back to my quiet self. Maybe i ought to learn to be more selfish. Somehow i only bring troubles wherever i go. I add on to people's burden? I just wanted to help. Nothing more. Or do i just stop caring?

After all, i'm just an insignificant entity. I can only say i'm really sad, depressed and empty. Who, can i turn to? Myself. Sometimes i don't need people to hear my troubles. I just want to talk. That's all. I wouldn't dare ask for more. Nevermind. Guess i will just be the midnight sun to stand by my friends. Unless you all even want to call to me. My worth, my existence, can be forgetten, it's alright.

So long as you all TAKE CARE!

2007-05-09T00:51:00.000-07:00

Some recollections:

Painful words, painful actions
Painful sight, painful consequence
When will redemption take place?

Salt the wound, make it bleed
Open it, do not let it heal
When will the memories of guilt fade?

Tearless tears, what are they
Silent fears, who will know
When will these nightmares end?

A face, inverted smiles
A thought, far-fetched reverie
When will hope cease to exist?

Light the light, walk in shadows
Song of love, lonely reminder
When will death spring life?

I guess this still reflects a fair bit of my thoughts now; even though i wrote this months back.

---------------------------------

I like it this way
Bitterly so far away
Yet in my deepest depths of heart
You were there right from the start

The memories still in my head
But i never ever dread

I like it this way
At least i can love you from far away

I Like it this way
Even though my past astray
They forbid me to seek you out
You look out for his where-a-bouts

It hurts me though i put a smile
I deserve, i know its fair

I like it this way
At least i can love you from far away

Have yet to compose the tune for this song. Think i will never compose the tune anymore because i have no more inspiration towards the meanings behind its creation. Sigh.

-----------------------------------------

I am still very sick despite putting up a really strong front.
Fever, Voice loss.
Self medication doesn't seem to be curing me.
Must i really resort to seeing a doctor.
I hope not.

Watched Spidey alone just now. -random-

Learnt quite a lot in school today. Have to do a lot of 'extras' on my own at home before next week's lesson. Am going to be Headwaiter on the very first week of operation commencement. STRESS -plucks hair- praying that my experience at Ritz will suffice to pull through.

Tomorrow's plan is to go collect my service uniform after school, then proceed down to Ritz to collect my pay and for my colleague. The rest of the day should be spent on my school projects, quizes, etc. I do not want to regret in the later part of the semester like i did before, wishing for more time to prepare.

I still don't feel like going to club -random again-

Okays, there a few upcoming movies that i really want to watch!
-Pirates (At World'sEnd)
-Shrek 3
-Bourne Ultimatium
-Surf
-Rat-a-toe?
-Harry Potter 5
Guess i'll be watching all alone as usual -used to-

Sorry! If i have negleted some of my friends lately. I just want you all to know i'll be there for you if you call to me. Yours to hold...always!

-=nothing is impossible, but dreams are impossible reality=-

2007-05-06T21:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, something's wrong with Blogger again!

But...something's more wrong with my younger brother!

Pardon me if my language usage has limited vocabulary, but he has literally driven me to the point of no return. YOU don't want me to care, don't want me to help. Fine. I'll let you rot and die the way you like it to be. I'm over and done with you. Don't ever come crying after me in future. I bloody GIVE UP ON YOU!

I mean every word i say.

Feel quite accomplished today. I have done completed 2 online quizes and prepared for next week's lessons already. Now am going to continue with some sewing.

Oh yes, High School Musical is really nice! Know i'm really outdated to be saying this but i'm sure there are people out there who is more mundane than myself ya? Lol.

I feel bad everytime when people turn to me, i can't seem to help at all. I wish i was superman or some super heroes so that i can do more for the people i love. I'm still too weak. Sigh

Last night while working, dunno why came down with a bad flu and headache, as well as soar throat. In the end i had to take my leave at 11. After the night's sleep, i have recovered fairly well, but now flu is returning and throat has worsened. Besides, i think i have been food poisoned! Luck has been pretty bad these few days. =\

Enough of rattling.

Gone with the wind... woosH

2007-05-02T21:22:00.000-07:00

Quote of the week: "Limitless Possibilities"

------------------------------------------------------------------

Somehow, i do not know what to blog nowadays.
Maybe because i found someone to talk?
You know i'm a happier person now.
Thank you Amie!

------------------------------------------------------------------

School pace is picking up by the day. Pretty sure next week onwards i'll begin to burn my nights out for projects. Thank goodness there's no more PBL for this semester.

Still facing some difficulty to form an ideal group for my projects. Hope the people involved will not make life too difficult for me.

------------------------------------------------------------------

This week and next, will be working Fri and Sat at Ritz. Cash at bank is depleting at a really fast rate. Can't afford to rest anymore or i'll be eating grass before i can say no.

Lately have this thought of taking up a new job, maybe at Four Seasons? Perhaps i'd like to try something not related to F&B. I think it's high time i expand my working experience or i'll be left behind in this rat race. Ugh -forever stress-

------------------------------------------------------------------

JCs SYF coming real soon. May all my friends out there involved be blessed with good health during this crucial period.

I'm also quite looking forward to all the choir concerts. Jiayou to you all!

------------------------------------------------------------------

Okays. Now, i am so so disappointed with my younger brother. Maybe he will never know this feeling. A feeling of despair because i simply don't know how more to help him; when he himself gives up totally. A failure i am in this aspect. Haiz. Woon Wei, i wonder if you even realise how peril a situation you are in?

------------------------------------------------------------------

I wish i could do more for everyone around me...

I am the harbour
People come and go
But i'll always be around

2007-04-30T14:17:00.000-07:00

Climate is what we expect
Weather is what we get

2007-04-29T00:36:00.000-07:00

Brad Little's voice is still spinning in my head! The Phantom, and literally just the Phantom sings song in my head. He was the angel of music in the cast! I would say that somehow i still preferred the cast voice of the 2004 movie than the cast voice of the musical i watched today. Only the Phantom of this musical today could not be rivaled by the movie OST. It's merely my personal opinion. I must comment though that these cast for the musical tonight are really good! Just perhaps i don't like too much rebrato (did i spell correctly?).

It's an awesome show no matter. Especially the props, setting, and the flawless execution of every scene. Definitely worth the money.

I bought the program book too! Even though it costed $25, i felt it was worth as a collectible. So anyone who wishes to borrow from me just drop me a note =)

Ok, today i completed my Xue Shan Fei Hu vcds. Very nicely ended. Lol. Printed out all the lecture and tutorial notes for next week already. Also managed to 'tidy up' my laptop and its contents.

Tomorrow i will be meeting a ZHS junior to collect back my blazer, then i'll proceed to purchase Xun Qin Zi. Wahaha. It's on a nearly 70% offer la! How could i miss this chance man. Did not manage to book to work tomorrow so next week i'd probably work at least 2 days if not have to 'eat grass' already. =X

Enough said. Otaijini mina-san~

Are hopes always marred,
because they were just self fantasized?

2007-04-22T17:14:00.000-07:00

6.28am

6.33am

6.45am

6.53am

7.01am

7.16am

7.24am

Pretty sight isn't it?

Ah i really love nature!!

Shall not mention those unhappy happenings that drove me out.

Smile =)

2007-04-22T00:05:00.000-07:00

I was moved to tears when i heard you all sing. Though i quickly dried my eyes, my heart was so warm. Zhong Hua Choir, I just want to say i'm so proud of all of you on SYF 2007. Seeing each and everyone of you embark on this music jouney from day 1 to that very fateful day which you all gave the very best performance i could ever dream for. Do not be dissapppointed that a gold was not awarded. For to me, you all definitely did your very best and you all know that too. That's enough right? I was so nervous when the results were announced. I guess i wasn't even so nervous 2 years back. Haha. ..and it's not the closing of a chapter, but a beginning of a new one that we all shall walk together once more ;)

Alright, my working streak at Ritz has also finally been ended. 8 Consecutive days since last friday. My record man. Will be working less since school will reopen in less than 24h from now. Somehow i dread school reopening, but i also greatly anticipate learning more about the service industry. What an irony. Lol. Maybe because i still have many plans uncompleted during this holiday that's why i yearn for more holidays. Well, i think i'll just juggle my time properly so that i can still spare time to complete my plans. i tell you, i'm so thankful my time table is only super tight on Mondays and Tuesdays. Wed-Fri is only like half day school. However, do not think that i'll be having a good life...because i'm so very sure projects will tie down almost all my free time. =( Besides, there will also be my Changi Youth Ambassador which will probably fall on every Thursday.

Ok, Nothing special to mention about myself i guess. Maybe except my thoughts, emotions are so scattered. What's going on?

On a lighter note, TVC is finally having practices soon.

Just now went out for dinner with family and some of my parents' friends. Mum suggested Bedok since there was this chinese Teochew Restaurant which she recommended. The food was good indeed, but the bill was better! If you get what i mean...

I did a recording just now with my laptop. Two takes. Hope it's not too bad. Hehe. The song is Aladdin's - A whole New World. Of course i only sung the male part.

~Carpe Diem~

2007-04-15T23:34:00.000-07:00

I have not slept for so long in many days already. Lets see... from last night 1.30am to today 12am. That tallys up to 10.5h! I think i can run like a horse now.

Now i can feel that holidays are ending real soon. I need more holidays!!! Argh. I still have lots of plans not fulfilled. How?? I need a time machine. -Dream on-

I also wished $$$ to fall from the sky right now, so that i need not slog so hard at work. Sadly i do not have that luxury to. I have thus decided, i will study hard! I want no more hard labour jobs in future! Yep, i'll work towards that goal.

Speaking of work, yesterday my manager Adrian wanted to send me home around 5pm because there was more than enough staff for the night events. Then, somehow i managed to get to stay on, and he didn't want me at M Floor so he sent me up to Chihully; which was also what i hopped for cos can interact more with guest. -Not so boring- Amos who was in-charge at Chihully immediately made me VIP server. So coincidentally, Adrian called me then to ask me go back down to help. Too bad i couldn't anymore. Who ask you don't know how to use 'Ren Cai'. Hehe. Not being full of myself, but he should know i'm no newbie there already.

Well, in the end i left at 12am. I foresee a good working relationship with new BOM Kok Ching. Although i'm not so tight on cash now, but i'm not on a very loose leash either. Have to budget everything i spend. Sigh. Not that i like splurging but it's terrible when even eating i have to think twice for now. Just hate this feeling.

Tonight met up with YY. Had a really good 2h chat. Good times always run. Received my really belated gifts from her, but thanks alot! She also taught me a good few warm-ups before singing and some singing techniques. Will try to relate as much to ZHSS choir tomorrow. Sad to say i'll be quite rushing because i am working at 5.30pm.

On the whole, today has been just another ordinary day. I really crave for more warmth in my life. Since like forever, i only feel i have my friends as my emotional support. They are my drive in life. Can't imagine a day without you all.

2 days back, CS entered army. Sorry couldn't accompany you because i was tied down. When you book-out will meet up ya? Botak boy sure look more gay than ever. LoL

It's been days, no.
Weeks.

Even if it's a NO,
Isn't the time too exaggerating?

Must you always put me at a loss...

2007-04-11T01:31:00.000-07:00

'When our time is up,
When our lives are done,
Will we say we've had our fun?

Will we make a mark?
This time,
Will we always say we tried?'

Nice quote from someone i know.

-------------------------------------------------------
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or
Saying nothing and wishing you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.
Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs.
Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own........when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.
Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you ?
Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.
Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what wedon't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.
But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger .
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.

I thought this was another piece well written. Sad to say, i seem to be exactly the kind of person that has to look back and wonder what i have done, or could have. I'm such a failure in this aspect. I should learn to lead a more jubilant life; not treading a river of reverie.

2007-04-10T23:56:00.000-07:00

How rotten can my day get man.

First, I made one wasted trip all the way from Hougang down to MOE which is in Bueona Vista.

Was suppose to collect my 2006 O-Level English Cert, but it can only be collected as of tomorrow. All these happened because last night when i blogged, i saw the date was 10th April. The letter stated 11th April till July is the period for collection. So, in the night, i simply thought that the next morning would be 11th already. How silly of me!

As if i wasn't punished enough, i dropped my phone from a mere height of approximately 30cm and not just the glass cracked, the LCD display cracked!! So there goes my new Nokia 6280. Heart pain!!! I've really got rotten luck today. Although it can still function normally, but without the screen, it's as good as handicapped. I only had it for less than 3 months... now i've got to send it for repair which would cost me a bomb of about S$130! The best part is that i have to wait for like 1 or 2 weeks before being able to collect back for use.

Admittedly, i can't live without my phone. So i took a very daring step. I signed up a new student plan with starhub to get a new Sony Errikcsson K610i. Lost all my messages in the N6280. Can only see them after the repair. I'm so totally broke now especially since a few days back i bought a mp4 for myself and an mp3 for my younger brother. Now, all the plans i have looked forward to, i guess has to be put on hold again. Work is all that's likely to appear on my schedule now. -sigh- The only consolation would probably be that i am still contactable. So dear friends, don't hesitate to contact me if you need help or even just a listening ear. I'll be there for you.

As much unlucky I am, I hope a friend of mine is ok. I hope i am wrong but i think that it must be a hard time you are going through now. I'm not really good at words, but i will definitely stand by you if you call for me. Cheer up no matter what and stay strong.

Life is too unpredictable..
We must treasure everyone around us; this I've learnt.
I love you all!

2007-04-10T02:05:00.000-07:00

I'm home, and i've got the mood for blogging. Hee.. no more succumbed to emotions for now. ;)

Earlier on, was out singing in the park. A cat actually came forth and sat beside me while i sang. What a cute scene! Haha..

Last night i slept like a pig lah! The only reason i woke up was because my handphone vibrated a message. When i looked at the clock, oh dear, it was 1.50 in the noon already! This shows how tired i was at work for the past few days. Thankfully my next working day is on coming Thursday meaning - I will have 2 more days of rest. Heh

Speaking of which, my plan for tomorrow would be to go collect my EL O-Level Certificate from MOE in the early noon, before going down to Ritz to collect my pay. Thereafter, would be meeting a friend for the rest of the day.

Today, while at ZHSS Choir, i was really disappointed with them. I actually have to raise my voice just to get them settled down to start. Is singing such a chore i wonder?? -sigh- Am terribly worried for them yet they don't seem to feel the urgency to buck up at all. For this statement, i refer to the sec 1-3s. From the bottom of my heart, i believe in all of you. The key now lies in whether you guys want to put in your part. Enough said, on Wednesday when i go back again i hope to see improvement.

In the evening, met up with Amie. However, we did not go to check out the songs the studio provided because it was not in operation. So we aimlessly walked around before she introduced me to a store which sells all these puffs and cakes. Little desserts i would say. It may be a little expensive but the cheese cake stick which i tried tasted quite good. Thanks for the recommendation! Will try out the chocolate thingy you recommended as well someday when my throat has recovered. LOL

The food stall she introduced to me was indeed not bad too! More importantly, it is decent dishes served cheap. Haha. As i am a canivore, 3 meat is uaully sold at like $3.50-$4, but that stall which is beside Bedok Reservoir charged me only 3 bucks! Whoa

I must say it was a day ended well.

Last night i attempted to test record, however my throat was too tight so i gave it a miss in the end. Later i'll try to record again. Hope i don't wake anyone in my family or i'll be chased by a butcher knife. Kidding.

I don't think i want to work so much next week. I want to go out with friends! Missed quite a number of outings already. Must fully utilise the remaining holidays well. Maybe last week of my holidays i'll work a bit more to stock up cash to prepare for school reopen. Yup yap Yup. -nods-

Anyway, my drive for cross-stitching has been extinguished. I really cannot understand some people anymore. I always make wrong moves at wrong timings and cause unwanted misunderstandings and hurt to others. Gomme nasai. I really am sorry. Haiz

I always wish and wish, but in the end i always know it will all just be my wishful thinking.

On Wednesday when i go back to Zhss choir again, i'll then announce the VJC Choir Concert thingy. Today the sec4s were having NAPFA 2.4 so i'll wait for them to return on coming Wed before asking togerther. I'll definitely be going though...anyonne interested too? Can contact me personally and i should be able to get good seats for us =D

Right, now i better get going to bathe. I'm all sticky and smelly! Eewww

ZOOOoooooommmmsssssss ... tatax

2007-04-09T01:33:00.000-07:00

Sing to freedom!

Whahaha!

Since I have noting in particular to blog now, let's just talk about my mood then.

Hmm, guess it's a mood full of anticipation. Rather positive. At least i'm smiling, which is something that has not taken place on a personal note, for a while now.

Yep. A good chat lightens the atmosphere and calms the soul.

Singing heals.

Ok.

I want to record now. Oh no! Woon Jiun is getting sp hyped up now. Restrain him, quick! Heh

Don't feel like blogging now, because i want to go test record! Muahaha =D

Will blog again when i'mmore in the right mood for blogging.

Ever waiting...
Will you anchor?

2007-04-05T00:02:00.000-07:00

Today is quite an eventful day for me.

It started off at 10am went i felt someone was peeking at me. I couldn't help but feel uneasy and squint my eyes open to see who the intruder was. It turned out to be my grandma who was curious as to when i'm going to get up. Haha.

You see, my family has this weird practice that everyone should be out of bed before 9am or it would be considered something like a crime. Over the years, me and my elder brother has rebelled against this really screwed up 'policy' but at times it still haunts us. lol

Okay, so i got up and started packing the stuffs i needed for the day. Well, the plan was to meet my Ritz colleagues Michelle, Kok Liang -her BF- , and Qi Zhu to play badminton at Bradel Heights CC. Yap. However, Michelle was ill so Kok liang obviously wanted to accompany her. Luckily my best buddy Yi Chao agreed to turn up last minute. So its 3 of us.

Old bones like myself sure felt tired soon. =p What a shame. That's what happens when you do not exercise for eons! I feel like going to swim someday next week. Wonder if anybody is interested and free to company. If not, i think i will zzz halfway while swimming. Hehe.. won't bear to bah?

Alright cut the crap. Yesterday i went into JB. Was suppose to be a lone trip, but my ahma tagged along and it was a great outing! First time i bring my ahma out of Spore, Whoa. Brought her to watch Meet the Robinsons at City Square's Mega Pavillion. Tix was only RM5 per person. So after converting, it reflects less than S$2.50 each. The quality of the screen and the comfort of seats far surpass the cinemas in Spore. We went shopping and eating there after..erm...ok lah i was the one shopping, but she was the one eating! Hee..we make a great pair ya? One old one youthful ;) In the end da bao xiao bao come back. I bought myself a sling bag, a belt, a necklace, animations, bubble gums, and my beloved Trinity Blood set of original artwork and data book. Oooo..i tell you i have longed for this for more than a year and finally i have it bought with my hard earned money. I'm so happie =D

You know as i was crossing the customs, they actually caught me smuggling pirated animation discs, but they let me off. Phew. Close shave man. The titles i got back are Bleach, Tsubasa, Demonbane, Hellsing, Ballard Shinigami, Blood. Who ever wants to borrow can contact me personally. Use common sense wor...i must know you la! Haha

So, the entire trip, i spent about S$120. I think it was worth it la. Should have taken photos with my ahma, but we too happy talking away till forget. lol.

After badminton today, i went back ZHSS choir to help them. At least i hope i helped somehow. They have improved, but again, they really need to settle down faster. They must not shout. Sigh. I don't know what i must do or say to get all the important details into their head. Most importantly, i wish they realise singing is something to enjoy and not a chore. Maybe i'll 'po li' sing for them next mon. See how then.

Anyway, today's my Mei's 16th birthday already. See you grow up over the years into a fine young lady now. Must work hard for O-Levels yeah! Friday study hard at airport, and don forget to bring jacket cos it will be cold. Loves ^^

Heh, it's a long entry i just realised. See.. I blogged le worz! =)

2007-04-01T09:43:00.001-07:00

Stephenie Sun's latest album is good!

I recommend track 4, 7 & 8. Haha

Ritz Chalet was not say fun, but brought back many 'old birds' and great memories. I missed you all.

Drank quite a bit again but this time could somehow tahan.

I tried 3 different alcoholic beverage content in total. First was Irish Whiskey. It taste a little bitter probably because of the amount of hops added. Anyways, i don't really like it so i guess i'll give it a miss the next time i am offered again.

The second alcohol i took was Martel VSOP. I tell you, it's GOOD! So smooth and it taste just right with a dose of jasmine green tea mixed.

The third, was none other then Jonny Walker Black Label. It was the best i took! Smooth, refreshing, lightly firery. Simply perfect to start the night. I feel like getting one bottle for myself real soon. Heh. Going to take it neat as usual. -winks-

Tomorrow shall go back ZHSS choir. Tue will be going JB. Went to get some money exchanged earlier. People, please let me know what you would like me to help you buy by today yea? Pray that i go and return safely. There are still many things i wish to discover. Wed will be playing badminton. A bit sad Mac outing had to be cancelled once again due to poor response. Thu to sun i'll be working Ritz. Yup, that's the plan for this week.

I am still unable to do it well, but i will not give up trying.

It's late now, but i'm still browsing Naruto's latest manga release, as well as planning a checklist for my free and easy lone tour.

As each night pass, the day approaches.
How will things eventually turn out?

Oh ya, if you guys are thinking that the movie 23 is something religious, it's not. Don't ask the obvious why i know, cos i watched it lah! lol.

Well, and i think i'll be blogging less nowadays unless i really have some things i wish to say out. Realise blogging gets me emotional. Who knows.

Take Care

2007-03-29T11:09:00.000-07:00

My Blood is type S!

S stands for SWEET.

I have been bitten by countless mosquitoes these few days. Is dengue back? I hope not. People please be wary and perhaps burn mosquito coils to keep these blood suckers away.

Ahh my stomach is still not feeling very well. Was at my 1H11 chalet yesterday. It turned out to be full of fun. At last i get to enjoy something without having to plan. Hehe..thanks Wendy and Wan Ru for organising. In fact, for the first time, i actually got myself almost drunk. I tah down 2 and a half cups of Absolut Vodka (40% alcohol) with Sprite. Yes! It's 2.5 cups not shot. The percentage i drank was 70% Vodka vs 30% Sprite. Gosh! I wasn't red, but my head was so heavy and spinning. I certainly felt high for the first time in my life. Haha. Luckily i did not vomit. My other classmate Christine vomited after drinking 3 cup of red wine and 1 cup of Vodka 50% vs Sprite 50%. Today the few of us who drank more still had the hangover effect sia. lol.

Well, i slept for less than an hour last night, so obviously Woon Jiun is on the verge of knocking out anytime now.

Just a brief review of what i spent with my pay. I brought my family out for dinner a few days back. Bought 2 sets of video discs. Gave my younger brother additional allowance. Bought my mum her advance birthday gift. Something like that if i'm not mistaken. Have to pay my HP bill tomorrow already.

Xue Shan Fei Hu and the Korean Love Drama are really good entertainment. Keeps my mind preoccupied in the day, and in the night i resume the tedious attempt to make that thing.

Tomorrow i shall be working at Ritz from 2pm onwards. Wonder if i should still work OT. Maybe i will refuse to, since they already have so many staff who want to work. Shao wo yi ge ye bu hui si. Hrmf

Straight after work i think i'll go down to Downtown East for Ritz Chalet. I think my eye bags are goingto be darker than chocolates real soon. Muahahaha!

A pity tomorrow's ZHSS sports day but i cannot attend. I do wish that after Ms Tan's leaving this year end, the new principal would open more sports CCA again.

Nowadays i miss choir a lot. TVC seems to be waiting for i don't know when before they intend to have practices. The flowers would have probably withered by then. lol.

I will most likely go JB next week Mon. May i go and return safely in one piece. People, if there's anything you all want me to help you all buy please let me know by this week. Too bulky items i'm afraid i cannot comply. I only have two hands after all. Heez..

Okok. Time to be in bed. No more mosquito buzzing please! Oyasumi nasai mina-san =)

I made the vow

2007-03-28T01:47:00.000-07:00

Another tiring day at work. Thankfully i was not made to stay for the pool side function. I'll probably sleep walk into the pool. Today, if not for Yi Chao helping me, I'd be dead beat before the sun went down. Just imagine, coming in to work at 9am and the entire day you do an extremely boring set up in the ballroom with the air-con switched off! There were so many occasions of double-job as well; or commonly known in the Ritz language as - DJ. In the end, we both clocked a whopping 12.5h = $75. Not a sum to 'wah' about... my back is aching right now.

Yesterday i went back to ZHSS choir sectional. I must say they have improved again! Really hoping they can actually break the silver mark and go on the achieve gold. In order to do so, they must definitely polish up on their song entrance and cutting off at the same time. You guys must not be complacent understand?

Mrs Wong was also sharing with me about her viewing of Phantom...Oh i just can't wait to watch it!!!! So many people have been telling me how good the show was. Some even willingly bought a second ticket to watch once more. My ticket allows me entrance on the 28th next month. Oooooo wahahaha =D

Tomorrow i'm having my 1H11 class chalet at Aranda. Somehow my friend managed to get it free. Hope i'll enjoy myself there. lol

Enigmatic.
I do not quite understand at all...

But i think you are still fine. So i'm happy. =) It's like magic. I don't fear anything anymore. Haha. Somehow i feel things are not that bad as i thought it would be.

Have been making something.

Oh wells. It's been confirmed. We 3 brothers will be following dad. Which also means i will be shifting house almost every 2 years because financially my dad will be incapable of buying a house after the divorce. This is so going to be troublesome! Argh =x

Had tried de-stressing myself by watching Mr Bean's Holiday yesterday. Sad to say it was not up to my expectation. Now i'm craving to watch Music & Lyrics. Annybody interested to go watch together? ^^

I am sober

2007-03-25T02:12:00.000-07:00

No matter how hard i try, I just cannot be positive. Not when the situation spells absolute uncertainty. I am clueless as to what happened and what will come to happen?

It took me a lot of courage and serious considerations, but yes, I have shared my feelings. Are you angry? Therefore avoiding me? I really do not know, but wish so dearly to know.

I have been working, yet my mind is simply unable to focus on my job. In addition I could not sleep well. Every message I received, I prayed you would at least let me know. I never dreamed for your acceptance, but even if you deny me, we can still be friends. Or we can't?

It was your message that made me finally confess my feeling. I never wanted to, because I'm afraid I'm not worthy enough and I did not want to just loose the friendship that has worked out after so long. Guess everything's blown now. Can I think otherwise? Did I intepret your message correctly or was it always just my reverie? Please give me an answer. I truly hope to hear how you feel and talk things out.

I know I will never be able to say that I had waited for you. After all, you should already know I had a crush for YY back then and even had my first relationship last year; if we don't count ours back then. You may not believe me anymore, but I never once forgot you or our memories. I thought I had been able to let go of my feelings for you long ago. I do not know if I did, all I know is my feelings are with you now.

Unless your message meant otherwise, I am asking for a second chance on my own now, for us. Are you willing to start all over with me?

I've done my outmost best to express myself clearly. In the end if you just want to be friends, at least let me know. Unless we can't even be friends anymore.

Did i fail to grab my second/last chance?
Let me love you.

2007-03-21T13:05:00.000-07:00

Okay sorry about the last entry. Woon Jiun is not that crazy.

Shall henceforth be more positive. =)

Anyway i won't be blogging for a good few days.

Will be working consecutively at Ritz for 4 days. Staying over there as well. Contact me through sms yea? Miss ya all. Will miss my blog too! wahahaha

Mina-san, Ashiteru!

2007-03-21T02:03:00.000-07:00

Have been burning myself out with my jobs, if not also can't seem to fall asleep. I'm sleeping at like 3am earliest every night.

I know people have told me to not over work myself. Ugh. But,

I'm very very vexed and stressed right now! -plucks hair-

Somehow things aren't going the way i hoped them to be.
Is this a joke?
Why do you always leave me wondering and having this feeling of uncertainty?
Or was it me who read too much into.

If only i could take a long nap and wake up to no more troubles; or just let me sleep on and on...

I have somehow started to regret every entry i posted. I do not know if i had expressed myself correctly. I just hope others do not intepret wrong meanings.

I think i'm getting way too emotional once again. Sorry. I shall go to sleep and...

I don't want to wake up. I wished all these were just a nightmare. I'm afraid i will not be able to hold on much longer with all the set backs tiding over one after another. Take me aawwaaaayyyyy

2007-03-20T02:31:00.000-07:00

Alas!

After hours of editing, my semi-private blog is up. However, it may still be subjected to some maintanence. =p

Okay i know i took eons thanks to my lack of knowledge in this field. Pardon me.

Decided to use Bleach as the theme for my layout this time round, though i must confess my Trinity Blood skin was still my favourite. After all, the entire HTML layout then was self created.

The music on air is from the anime Naruto; in case any of you are wondering. That's if anyone even views this blog. Haha.

Do tag if you have heartfelt words to enlighten me. I wouldn't feel offended i guarantee. Why? Simply because you guys out there who knows this blog address are personally invited by me and are special to me. I don't expect anyone whom i did not invite to view, least to say tag my board.

Currently, i am still in the midst of clearing out my things so as to facilitate the process of shifting house. It's really time consuming!

Alright, enough of my rants. Actually the main reason for me to create this new blog is to leave behind the unpleasant memories and start everything anew. It's going to be easier said then done i know, but i am determined to work for this turn around.

For now i'd better get going to bed. My eyes are weighing down and my neck and shoulders already feeling stiff. Haha. Goodnight to all =)

...and my shuffling of footsteps echoed on this unearthly hour